My Lilth in Gemini represents a side of me thatβs unusually suppressed. As a cancer rising, my energy is usually reflected as being extremely friendly and welcoming to others but as a Gemini, I can be a little rough around the edges but my intentions are to always enlighten those around me. I used to be very weary of expressing my Gemini traits because it comes off very insensitive towards those who solely rely on their emotions. (I was her) π
β You cannot put others feelings on a pedestal for the expense of you well being.β
As Gemini Season came in, Iβve been really basking into my solitude and genuinely enjoying what God has provided for me. FINALLY ! A peaceful home where Iβm able to be at peace. I feel like your energy is starts at home. If youβre at peace where you lay your head, youβll be at peace in the world. Iβve found a liking in finding cool and creative pieces to add to different parts of my apartment. Shit, I just bought butterfly kitchen curtains. Did I need them ? No, but it definitely spices things up a bit.
βDo things to make yourself happy, because you deserve itβ
My solitude feels so good because Iβm spending time getting to know my real boundaries and spending time with people who donβt have to prove anything to me because I know their heart. After having to heal from so many people I donβt care to reopen in the same way. I was once in a place where I was super open in places I wasnβt fully welcome. I love people who fully understands where Iβve came from and how much growth that went into this new version of me. Itβs all about respect and over standing. Knowing your value is a super power.
Iβve been able to take little trips to fun and energizing spots that I intentionally didnβt experience with my partner. I think itβs super important to try new things so youβre able to experience things for the first time instead of repeating cycles that brings out your old self. I remember telling him that we are NOT doing any chain restaurants and weβre now 1 year into our relationship and we ended up at Applebeeβs for breakfast lol.
I love the spontaneousness of a Gemini, theyβre usually not unsure of what they want but theyβre able to weigh out other options that will be most logical in the moment. We THRIVE when weβre obtaining new knowledge that we can apply to our daily lives. We donβt really enjoy conforming because honestly, we alittle weird. Geminiβs love luxury and they wonβt settle for anything less unless they think theyβre less.
I really had to shift my mindset when it comes to how I live my life and the energy Iβm intaking on a daily basis. For 6 years, my main focus was creating an in home hair studio business to help women feel more bold, more sexy, and more decisive when it comes to things that they want. Itβs innovative, intimate, and an overall experience youβll look forward to.
Anyway,I was fixated on helping others that I genuinely forgot about myself and what makes me the best version of me. So instead of always extending the vibe, I became the vibe. Itβs really okay to just rock out alone and connect the way that you see best fit, sometimes itβs dead silence and Iβm good with that. I think as humans we hold on to others emotions and approval, as if theyβre our own and it becomes MENTAL SUICIDE.
You have to learn how to enjoy something without needing otherβs to be okay with your absence. This is no shade but honestly, Iβve experienced alot of annomocity from those I no longer speak to. But to be quite Frank, what youβve done in the past does not hold weight at this present time. You have to evolve and RELATE to the people who are around you or else there will always be conflict. If it doesnβt feel right, its not.Just because youβve done your ASSISGNMENT, it doesnβt mean that the respect goes out the door when Iβm no longer convenient for you. Itβs giving bad mind and I really hate to see it π§Ώπ€¨.
Having to hide your blessings because youβre afraid of people not showing love is a trauma response. People are so comfortable with hiding that I realized that weβre simply not cut from the same cloth. Privacy is one thing but to hide behind who you truly are, what you like/what you admire behind closed doors is a mental disconnect. Like who are you off this internet shit? What do you enjoy doing? What brings you peace? How much time do you dedicate to being present ? What brings you joy ? Why do you allow people that donβt deserve you in your space?!?
Heal the parts of you that doesnβt allow you to show up yourself first and foremost in exchange for people outside of you. Weβd rather leech onto the idea of discreetness, pride, and sometimes envy to protect ourselves from the parts of us that weβre still ashamed of.
Itβs important to self evaluate and take into account where youβre dispersing your energy and why are you revisiting lessons you THINK youβve learned from.
Why are you attracted to chaos ?
Do you feel deserving of a good life ?
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