valΒ·iΒ·daΒ·tion/ΛvalΙΛdΔSH(Ι)n/ β the action of checking or proving the validity or accuracy of something.
βππππ πππ ππππππππ πππ πππππ ππ ππ πππππππ; π πππ πππ πππππ πππ πππππ ππ ππ ππππππ.β -Confucius π
As a child Iβve been given report cards, progress reports, rewards, and other forms of validation that allowed my mom to keep track of my progression while I was in school. I remember having to hide my report card when I KNEW I been fucking up all semester. Especially in math and science. Instead of building my confidence in these areas or accepting the fact that Iβll probably never be good at it, I felt stupid for not processing the information in these areas due to the harsh punishments I dealt with. I was conditioned to please those who looked to me to perform well as if I was a some sort of a puppet although my home life was extremely chaotic. As Iβve grown older, Iβve broken away from pleasing others by simply not conforming or trying to fit into the expectation that is being projected on to me. As a child your duty is to respect and please your elders, as an adult your duty is to respect and please yourself. This includes your values, your time, and personal interest. This will cause others who βknow youβ to somewhat feel uncomfortable with your decisions because theyβre not a main factor in how you live. It takes will, it takes confidence, it takes a knowing of self to life without feeling bad for being you. I was never into math and science because it wasnβt what I saw myself doing in the future. I excelled in art and writing classes to the point where I built loving relationships with my teachers who put in the work to make sure that I learned all I needed to know in those areas. My art and writing mentors were regular teachers at my school and theyβve has helped me build so much character within these areas of interest. Being a creative being allows you to discover your unusual self that others may not understand, that is totally okay. Those that truly overstands you, will gravitate to you to help you grow, theyβll help you plant more seeds so that youβre able to pick from your garden of greatness at your leisure. External validation matters less once youβve build a community of people who love and embrace you in your natural form, this can apply in so many different ways in your everyday life.
Break free from looking outside of yourself to be accepted. A lot of those who arenβt able to receive or nurture you as you are, may struggle with embracing their true desires as well. I think some of us get older and some of us grow up without evolving from the idea of people pleasing. Getting older simply means that you have not made any strides to pave your own way to be free of seeking validation, but once you GROW UP you learn that everyone is out here trying to hide behind a mask ( no pun intended). I love coming across adults who allows their inner child to run wild no matter what age they are. Itβs so freeing being who you are no matter what people are going to think about you.
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