Every time I go on social media it feels like a social experiment being able to see so many posts about various opinions and experiences from different people. I find myself trying my BEST to not respond to things that makes no sense to me but I am the one to challenge your thoughts to create a new perspective. My homegirl sent me a video the other day about a young lady expressing her experience of getting married extremely young and it really tickled me as the video progressed. I couldn’t believe she allowed ONE person to put her through so much turmoil just to end up with nothing but a sad story. This is a result of a lack of awareness + not being clear about your wants and needs in a relationship.
I know a lot of people try not to come off as an opportunist in relationships because there’s a negative connotation tied to the idea of an opportunist but what good is an experience without the opportunity to grow? Never thought of it like that huh ? Well, you can create the narrative by being intentional about where you devote your time and energy. Many of us are born into different religions and we are forced to devote our time and energy learning about God’s grace and his importance in our life. But we’re not forced to devote our time and energy into learning how to embrace our own strength and the importance of being intentional about our life journey as individuals. Our power is often passed on to some sort of masculine figure which takes away from our natural essence as women which is to nurture and develop a sense of inner peace.
The video highlighted so many red flags that made me realize that this could have easily been me. We’re all capable of being victims of abuse but if we confuse abuse with love, we will end up in a deeper situation than we intended to be involved in. As time progresses, you’ll realize that your self worth precedes your personal growth. If you’re not able to identify that an issue is effecting your value, you will continue to defend the root of the problem. I know that challenging yourself takes a lot of inner strength but if you are able to challenge your current ways of thinking by not writing it off as “resilience”, you will be able to develop a better way of life and perspective of love. Remember everyone has a different version of love that exists in their head so don’t be discouraged when someone you’re interested in doesn’t know how to reciprocate, it’s okay to allow them to find someone that can appreciate the love they’re willing to provide and just move along. That sense of feeling like you need to hold on to someone out of the obsessive need for creating something out of potential will continuously disrupt your peace.
Love is often depicted as something that you get from people you care about. Love is a lifestyle baby and you gata be about that shit for you and everyone around you. Create a blueprint of what love looks like for you. It won’t be linear to how it looked a year ago or the year before that because as humans we are constantly in need of something new so incorporate new things as you please. Those who are around you may not be able to check off all your boxes but they should be able to contribute to your vision of love by not triggering negative emotions/behaviors when you’re around them.
Create a list of things you love by starting each statement with “ I love..”. I did this exercise a few years ago and it has helped me to identify some cool things about myself that I probably haven’t shared with my loved ones until recently. It’s okay to dream, it’s okay to be passionate, it’s okay to be intentional. Release the toxic chokehold that being a “hopeless romantic” has on your life. Be hopeful and optimistic about love, it’s a beautiful feeling when you’re about you just as much as you are about others.
Thank you Monique for always sharing nonsense with me, you da best 🤪🤓