𝕯𝖊𝕱𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝕱𝖊𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊

As a cancer, I’m actually embarrassed to say this but I’m terrified of water. Not bath water or Essentia water, I mean anything that doesn’t allow me to stand up without drowning. I spent every summer from birth until the age of 12 in Antigua and I always remembered going to as many beaches as I can while I was there. Although I enjoy the beach waves rocking me back and forth as the sun beamed on me, I always made sure to stay closer to the shore as much as possible. I think my phobia of the water started at a very young age because I remember seeing a photo of 1 year old me at the beach on a picnic blanket, and box of KFC and I asked my mom how did that day go since my memory “card” has no recollection of anything before I turned 5.

I was told that she was with a friend who also had a newborn and they drowned. I’m not sure if they passed away that day or prior but it SCARRED ME for life. I told myself that I’ll never intentionally go into any body of water that will potentially take my life away from me. Now I won’t lie, I have taken a few swimming classes and I even took a risk one year at sleep away campy by swimming in a lake a few times, but that’s about it. The mind is so powerful because I was impacted by someone that I barely knew because they deserved to live .

I want to get over my fear before I’m 30 so I have about 2 more years to get a grip. I feel less sexy going into the water and just awkwardly squatting like a kangaroo while I’m on vacation. It’s definitely time to take some swimming lessons and utilize my local pool WAY more for practice. What was your first experience with a big body of water ? How has it changed over the years ?